Sunshine and Clouds

June 2015
I leave Benhall after another good breakfast. I know I keep mentioning this but I have never been a breakfast person. Now I am awake at 5.30 most mornings, write my blog, and am ready for a big feast before setting out walking again. I feel I have found such a good rhythm for my days. I am tucked up and asleep well before ten.
I feel I have been wasting my days staying on up until after it has gone dark. The early morning energy is strong and focusing. Its also very beautiful this time of year.
I compliment farmhouse bed and breakfast host Carol on her fabulous shortbread and set out. It has been cloudy but now its warm and sunny.
In Ross I explore as I walk into the centre. I have followed the river in. Walking barefoot on the grass in the park that forms its edge. Uncompromising metal sculptures of mallards on high metal columns are the only blot. I am reminded that only those who promote themselves are given such commissions. The soft lively mallards on the river along with the regal swans full of their own beauty give lie to the almost warlike structure the sculptor has given his birds.
I look for an independent cafe with WiFi where I can upload my next blog. Along the way I see many examples of Ross being a prime example if how things are changing. Although I have heard from the transition group they are no longer in action I see maintained wild flower gardens full of butterflies and bees, fresh local produce for sale on stalls under the collonades of the central town hall, a shop to parallel Totnes’ own Greenlife, an independent mini market full of healthy eco products, and overhear a conversation on a street corner about shop closures and what must happen next. In a town where the man of Ross, John Kyrlie did so much to make the place attractive and for the community, out tree planting with his spade, and giving over land to make a public community garden back in the 1700s surely transition would be most welcome. I wonder what clashes of personality or difficult personalities have stopped the group’s progress.
I am hot under the sunshine in my trousers and seek a cafe to get changed in now in earnest.
The cafe I find is locally run and excellent. The Eleganza leave me in peace for nearly two hours to complete writing up my blogs, though I still cannot upload anymore for the android tablet I am using to compose them on does not have any obvious method for cutting n pasting onto another place. It has been by luck I have managed so far.
When I leave the cafe, wearing my summer skirt and basking in the beautiful sunshine, I am trying to work out from my OS map the usual conundrum of which is the road out of a town when the woman from the tourist information office comes out of her hidden away office to the street to give me directions. I take the river path for a few more short minutes then head for my favoured back lanes, the original roads out of towns.
All goes well till I take a little footpath which soon has me wondering around an industrial estate. I ask two people in the complex selling expensive cars and am shocked that they don’t know where they are. They travel in to work and mention of the next village means nothing to them. It is a travesty of our times that people should have so little sense of place that they don’t actually know where they are.
I manage to work out my bearings by asking where the road I am on leads and am told it goes to the roundabout and to the big main road, the opposite way to where I want to be. I backtrack return along the footpath and finally rejoin my lane. Now it is chilly and I pause to put on shorts beneath my skirt and cover my pack in its rain cover.
Off I go onwards and northwards, headed for Brockhampton. It is easy walking , quiet in mind and quiet in adventure. Then the clouds form and speckles of rain fall. I stop and put on my trousers once more and walk on with my raincoat on. I am constantly fascinated by how often weather actually changes when you walk all day.
In a tiny hamlet there are two benches and a grassy area designed for walkers to pause a while so I do. The only signs are to walkers, showing footpaths to neighbouring villages. I leave Foy behind and come to the gate house. It is old, derelict, and for sale. It stands in prime location on the river bank but there is no feeling of joy in this place. I wonder at that and walk on. It soon becomes obvious that this is a private estate and that once this may well have been a private driveway!
A mile or so back I met a farmer cutting the grass when I went of f the lane to enjoy the river from a footbridge. He is an amazing interesting man with a terrier that barks a lot but is friendly. He tells me it is fine to cross the bridge and explore to the left but not to go the right as the man is not friendly to walkers. I explain that I am taking no footpaths but following lanes, partly due to my fear of cows.
Don’t be scared
Is his advice. Never very helpful to be told this. It is not an emotion that can be commanded, but I know he means well.
Make yourself big, he says, and make a lot of noise . they are bovine, their nature is to flee. He himself apparently has frightened off both bulls and dogs in this way. I kn ow this advice works yet my voice doesn’t really carry that deep strong bellow a man is capable of.
We take leave of each other and the lane continues wending its way besides the river. Beyond the gatehouse there are signs telling walkers to keep to the designated route. I look on the map and see Perrystone house is up on the hill. Once over perhaps no one could enjoy this stretch of river. It is prime fishing country and I think of my dad. Still I do not like the feel of the place. It is imbued with unwelcome. Humans affect the landscape as much as every other creature and our emotional qualities are perhaps the strongest force we have, capable of rendering a place friendly or not.
I am almost at my destination now, a last few lanes to follow and the sun is coming back out. I am romanced by the name of the place I am to stay in; Ladyridge.I imagine grand views but there aren’t any. The farmhouse is hard to find and my host is not in when I ring her. Eventually I try a different lane and there it is. Three sandy coloured friendly goats come to greet me at the fence, I scratch their heads admiring their horns and soft noses.
Then I go into what would have been a farmyard, now it is home to birds, a peacock walks free, there is a large bathing pool for birds and several coops. I go round to the front door following visitor signs but no one is home.
I sit on the grass in the sun to wait, perusing my map for the onward journey. Then a loud barking tells me someone has arrived. A small terrier runs up to me, all eager to be friends . we get to know each other but no owner appears. The terrier seems as perplexed as me and we go together back to the door and I ring and knock. Inside I heard a woman and another dog. Still none one comes. I ring up and finally someone answers. Eventually she comes to the door and let’s me in.
The house smells of dog in every room. It is almost overpowering. A strange sensation for one like me with almost no sense of smell.
I have my husband in hospital
She says and I soften. This lady is slightly mad but a gentle friend my soul. She takes me to my room with a large double bed and asks what will I do for dinner. I look askance, she had said she would do dinner on the phone when I booked. She says there is a pub down the road. We look at the map and it two miles away up and down a steep hill. I say I will do without and have an early breakfast. She brings me a dish of fresh strawberries and I eat my picnic lunch provisions that I have accumalated over the days.
In an old book of poetry I find in my room I find the works, for children, of all the major poets. As ever they do not touch me,their emotions not felt fully enough for me. Only one, by a young girl, included as she won a competition, has power in it, the raw grace of true feeling for life; altar smoke by Rosalie grayer in Louis untermeyers golden treasury 1966. She writes with passion and humility, a rare combination.
In the final chapter words of wisdom “from the Persian”;
He who knows not and knows not that he knows not is a fool, shun him
He who knows not and knows he knows not is a child teach him
He who knows and knows not that he knows is asleep wake him
He who knows and knows that he knows is wise follow him.
I wake in the morn ng to blue sky and look some more at the marvellous painting in my room. Painted upon a black background is a jar of three perfect dandelions with wild green heart shaped foliage. Perfect symbol of this my walk.

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On Fear and its Grip

 

6th June 2015
Paul drops me in Whitchurch ready for my adventure in the Doward. Today I am not so worried about if I can walk from A to B but if I can make enough time to walk around thus most ancient tree clad mound that stands out in the landscape like an emerald in the clasp of a watery sinuous necklet adorning the Herefordshire landscape. As ever in these borderlands the boundaries keep shifting, first Wales, then England, now Wales again, now England. It illustrates well one of the challenges of being on the edge.
The Doward has been inhabited since ancient times. Hardly surprising, it commands an enviable view over river and mountains and valleys for miles around. In times long last this would have accorded a measure of safety not to be dismissed. It takes some time to reach the first layer of its height. I amble, I have found that this slowest of speeds is the most efficient for long distance walking, the steepest of climbs made infinitely possible by the step by mindful step process. Besides it is a warm and sunny day, cloudless, and bees are busy in the hedgerows.
As I climb cars pass me on the circular lane that follows the hill round linking the homes of the wealthy who have made their homes here. They are off to work, maybe dropping off children at school as they go. I sense their impatience, you can’t really make much speedy progress in a lane like this especially when there is a walker on it. There are few passing places and you cannot see far ahead. Walking is by far the best method of transport here.
I am struck by the incongruity of the situation. Here are those with the money to buy a home on this exclusive hill, yet they are leaving it to do many of the things necessary to their livestyle. I on the other hand am as free as a bird, for the duration of this pilgrimage at least, to wander at my leisure, composing my latest works as I go, free to take advantage of this ancient mounds treasures on a hot blue sky mid week day.
It takes no little effort to follow my large scale OS map here where so much is packed into the contour lines of two and a half inches of ancient woodland and ancient settlement remains. I wish that I could ask Ordinance Survey to whip up a map of just this area for me to make use of right now. Inching along with my finger quarter centimetre stretches I manage after a couple of false leads to get myself through Little Doward and into the ancient woodlands that are common land.
Here I have already tasted my old friend anxiety. What if , in their fear of intruders, they keep fierce dogs, possessive of their territory? There are private keep out signs everywhere. I wonder what the fear is here. I have encountered this so often, this fear of strangers. It makes me feel like a villain, as if I am doing something wrong by passing their gates. It takes away my ability to remain the present. I am taken hostage by my fear.
I follow the woodland tracks, iniitially trying to stick to them but in the end I have to let go of my perrenial desire to control everything to keep me safe and keep the dreaded anxiety from arising. It turns out to be fairly easy to find my way to the flat top of Dowards hill. I gain the plain and my breath catches, there on my right, are three of the most magnificent trees I have ever seen, and there have been plenty on this journey through glorious wild Wales . two are beech and a third is oak. Their age I cannot guess at but their majesty and beauty are worth the long ascent to their heights.
It is sunny up here after the shady woods and I start off looking about, still cautious about losing my way. I haven’t seen a soul and know how these places can be easy to confuse. I want to sit in the sun and enjoy a second breakfast but a shady trail beckons me and though my anxiety clamours I follow it. My intuition is right, this is the way to the fort. Here is the viewpoint marked on my map. I climb up to it and there a little removed from me are some white cattle. Heart in mouth I clamber quickly down. I have been afraid of cows since my last storywalk. Not that they are fuercesome monsters, but simply big and curious, and I am slight and not so firm on my feet.
I continue along the trail till it opens out into what must have been the first, a wide flat circular plain with stupendous views over to the mountains across the valley. There are cows over to my left and I don’t linger. I have seen the place, but my fear won’t let me be present. I head off back to the three trees.
I sit in the oak’s several trunks understanding from whence humankind got the idea for chairs. I recline in my wooden throne and eat a hurried second breakfast.

I have spied several white cow hairs on a broken off branch at the front of the oak. Clearly a favourite scratching post.
I curse my anxiety that stands between me and my presence, too in its grip to let go and feel it through to its release.
I get up to go and follow the track back through the woods, noticing the cow pats all through the woods and understand that the herd are brought up here to graze each day. They certainly keep the grass maneagable on the fort’s ancient ground.
I laugh at myself. For sure Merlin would have had greater things than a herd of white cattle to concern himself with. I find a small twig that reminds me if my staff that I so sadly left behind. It has a pleasing vee that I can grip like I did my staff. I keep it as talismen to hold when I am scared. Gift from this place, a little broken but with some of the energy that my powerful staff had.

Once down on the lanes again it is easy going to my next point of call. I am looking now for King Arthur’s cave. I am sure a more intrepid explorer could have found it from the fort but I have learnt to accept now that one of my weaknesses is fear of being in a situation where I cannot call for help.
As I approach the Biblins campsite I spot a path branching off right with an information board. It is the path to king Arthur’s cave come to me without trying. I walk down the track. I do not know what to expect. There has been no picture and a cave can be many things to different people.
Several times my heart beats fast and I gape at the caves I find in the rocks to my left. They are quartz rock with softer limestone the information board has informed me and the combination over time is certainlya recipe for great caves.
Each cave is larger than the last, possible to enter, though here we go again, fear rises. I am afraid to go into these dark holes in the rock.
At the bottom of the track where the woods start up again is the best cave. There are two side by side . the larger goes in some way and has naturally formed pillars beyond which I do not venture but it is plain to see one could make dwelling out of such a place.


I am both exhilarated by this discovery of such magnificent caves that I never knew existed in my country and slightly fashioned of my fear. I am beginning to notice how fear is not an emotion I welcome and that this maybe because I am gripped by irrational fears that surge where there is no actual danger. I feel like the fearful soldier always at the back of Dads Army .
I am soon on my way again following the lanes looking for the track that will take me down to the ferry to cross to Symonds Yat east and my way onwards. I know that footpaths seldom stay where they are marked on maps, particularly at this time of the year so I plan on sticking to the lanes till i reach the track that willcut out a couple of milesof road but the tracks that lead off it are very enticing, old sunken green lanes.out of one emerges a man. I am standing dithering as I am wont to do when trying to make a decision on the next stretch.
Are you lost?
He asks and when I say no he says he often is around here never findingthe the same way twice. We exchange pleasantries and both go on our way. At the next green lane I cannot resist,it is only short,will cut off a corner and is just beautiful. I walk down it. Of course the inevitable happens, it doesn’t look like it does on the map an now here are several paths and I don’t know which is mine. I hazard a guess and walk on soon completely lost but not altogether worried, wherever I am its only a mile or so to the main lane. After a few minutes on what I think is a lane I find a nature reserve and see I have been going in a circle on a track. The track leading away from it has the same name as the track the man came out of. I follow it…and emerge out of the same green lane he had several minutes before. I laugh at the joke life has played on me.
Now I am almost at the place where the track I need should be. More private signs almost out me off the scent till I realise that they are directed at car drivers and that the small print says except walkers and there is the footpath sign. Relieved I follow it but it still doesn’t feel like a track and skirts by someone’s house. Dogs bark. Not again. It is at this point that I begin to feel tired of the barriers I am finding and ignore the fear and keep walking. At the bottom is a small parking area. Out rush two terriers yapping closely followed by their garrassed lady owner.
Sorry, she says, they keep getting out
But they are obviously friendly and simply curious.
I check with my rescuer about the way and find that I am now at the start if the track I need. She apologises again for the dogs but I say thank you, they have presented me with a guide just when I needed one.
I am finally almost there. It is well past lunchtime and I have been walking, in a roundabout direction, for 5 hours now. It is surely time for lunch. There is one more pleasure to add to my morning of treasures and fears; the hand pulled ancient role ferry that is still working. As I get to rivers edge and see the Wye for the first time in the day the flat elongated boat makes its way to me carrying two passengers. Its driver pulls it along by means of a thick rope stretched across the water.
It is quickly with me, the previous passengers disembark and I board.
We cross to the ancient Saracens inn. Its full of people having lunch in the sun. We are with them in a minute. I find a table overlooking the water and keep writing. I spend a leisurely two hours writing and realise how well I write, how easy it is, to write under these sorts of circumstances.
It us mud afternoon when I sally forth following the road to Goodrich that skirts copper hill. It us a lively pastoral stroll till we hit the main road at the top. After more than half a day in the wilds it is tricky to decide to walk thus. Then I spot a footpath. I am sure it won’t be going the way the map says. It is planted with a crop if seeding rape but it is better than cars for now.
It does indeed take me to GoodRich although not quite the route it should and I visit the church and check my map. There seems little choice but the road took I can hit the back lanes into Ross on Wye after a couple of miles. I try it. I get to the bridge by means of a little bit of pedestrian walkway help. The local council clearly know the road is a hazard but the tiny path ends at the end of the bridge and there the traffic flies by.
I know its impossible. I return to the village. There is one more bus tonight. In the village shop I begin to tell my tale. The shop assistant is delighted.
Sorry for the rant, she says after spending quite some minutes telling of the perils of said road. She lives at the other end of the village. I am glad I have not tried it. The local council have been asked over and over to please put in a pavement. There is one from the next village all the way into Ross.
I am now content to sit in the sun and read of Merlin and wait for the last bus. Alarm rattles my composure when it is late but along it trundles with a very helpful driver who reiterates the hazards if the Goodrich stretch of main road, and sets me down safely by the church in Ross with directions to the bridge over which I must cross to find my home for the night.
He and I are concerned about the dual carriageway that stands between the bridge and the farm where I will spend the night. I try every footpath along the way wondering if there must surely be a way under the road. I don’t find one.
When I gain the mighty roaring monster it is not the terror I have imagined. There are places to cross first the nearside carriageway then the far, and gaps in the traffic sufficient to allow safe crossing.
Benhall farm. I have arrived. It is 7 o’clock and I undress and slip on the cosy toweling robe provided and start to sort out my things, catch up on emails, and eat the most delicious shortbread I have ever tasted, home baked for guests. By 10 I am asleep.
It has been a good day. The fear that accompanied me min e alone, carried with me wherever I go. It is a good lesson. It is not the situation that we find ourselves in that us wrong, it is our inner demons that will make it hell if we let them.
Demons that are wraiths from another time, appearing to protect us, then clinging on, reluctant to relinquish their role to keep us safe they remain to haunt us ever after, unless we confront them and question their purpose. How like humans they behave; clutching roles as if their very identity depended on it whilst a wealth of potential shapes wait to be explored. What do my anxiety ridden wraiths hide beneath their guise of grey gauzelike veils? Inherited from parents whose childhoods were not filled with confident guardians …how many generations old these inherited ghouls?
Animals in the wild freeze when in danger, they shake and tremble themselves free when the danger is past. How much do we humankind carry that is old, undigested fear? How much of the boundaries to healthy happy society are simply old ghosts of undigested terror with no foundation in the present?
Today is a new day. Always.

Inner Demons

9th June 2015

As I sit here gazing out of my window in fellow author Looby Macnamara’s spare room at clear blue skies and the lime green of early summer foliage in the tree across the way, soaking up early morning silence, it is hard to feel the inner turmoil of yesterday’s walk.
It started out well enough, catching up with my blog, but soon went downhill with the arrival of breakfast my B&B host brought in for me. Though she had insisted several times that I wrote a list from the breakfast menu she had left in my room, as well as the dinner menu which she did not mention, suggesting a pub two miles away, and leave it at the top of the stairs, what she brought was rather a hotch potch of items, including two slices of fried bread, which never eat, of different shapes, looking for all the world like leftovers, one of them looking like it had been have eaten and chewed already, baked beans that had been over cooked and dried out, two hard lumps of black pudding, that were mishappen and looked like bits you’d throw to the dogs, and several rashers of bacon she’d tried to cook to my liking but that were rock hard as they were more like bits of gammon. I tried to eat from my plate but it was impossible, veritably the worst breakfast I have been served. In the window a peeling sticker denotes the establishment AA one star. Upstairs on the landing is a certificate that proudly announces AA four stars.
That there has been a decline is obvious. I eat the dish of blueberries provided and leave to pack. I have to call and rouse the dogs to pay my bill. There is an elderly lady with my host as I count the notes into her hand. She does not speak but stares. When I ha e given my host the last coin she says
Leave it there
And abruptly tips it onto the dresser. I hand her my poem, the thank you I am giving to each host for giving me their hospitality she looks at the paper saying very nice
Then as if another part of her psyche is taking over, tips that too on the dresser and turns to retreat to behind her door. As I turn to leave she says
Stay safe
And I go. I wonder what has happened in the life of this kindly spirited lady that she has become so fuddled and a bizarre mixture of sanity and not quite on track. I wonder about the absent husband who should come out of hospital today and wish them well although I cannot recommend that others stay in this B&B where when I stood on something hard on my bedroom rug it turned out to dried out dog faeces.
I walk back into the garden where I had such hopes, two male peacocks strut but do not display. The three affectionate goats are waiting by the fence. I spend a pleasant few minutes scratching their heads as they stick them through their fence. Their soft noses snuffle against my hand and I feel for sure they are treated kindly. A tall proud llama struts over as I am feeding them handfuls of lush green grass from my side of the fence. Obviously a male he keeps the goats and twhree other llamas away from the source of food claiming it all for him. I tire of this and walk on, feeling bad that the female llamas got no treat from the wrong side of the fence.
I think of the patriarchal society we live in and how we perpetuate it through learnt habits, becoming our own oppressors judging ourselves and others, and so maintaining an unhealthy out of balanced system.
I wonder at the llama’s behaviour. Would he have pushed the females out of the way if they weren’t call in captivity or is this the way of things at a certain level of development? I do not know but I leave with an irrational dissatisfaction of the masculine species and trundle off to Caplers camp, the next in a series of iron age forts I am following northwards. The place is full of keep out signs. Only the southeasterly edge can be attained. I feel the seething anger at this ownership of our shared heritage that brews beneath the surface. John Clairesque despair and a longing for a sense of trust to be shared amongst all.
I walk back to the village to see the church. I have no idea what to expect but as I turn the corner and it comes into view I am in awe, the partly thatched edifice is quite simply stunning. A jewel amongst buildings it sits in perfect symmetry with the landscape, would that every building did.
It is a church built at the start of the last century as part of the arts and crafts movement and has William Morris tapestries inside as well as a collection of embroidered altar cloths that were donated by an anon ymous lady of all the wild flowers along with a hand written book of the uses of all the plants another hand written copy of which can still be seen and read in the church.
A Stitch in Time is a church publication of this act of generosity with prints of the exquisite embroidered flowers with the words in print to raise funds to maintain this gem for further generations.
It is a delight to see wild flowers venerated in this way in a church and a delight to be in a church built honouring the sacred geometry of the land as this one has been. Our society would feel quite different if all structures were built in this way.
I leave Brockhampton pleased I have spent time here, in spite of the disappointing bed and breakfast experience.
I walk west to the next village, Hoarwithy. It is time for an early lunch at the New Harp inn. I meet a man looking at the menu too. He says the pub has recently changed hands. It used to be wonderful then became terrible as these things are wont to do but now maybe it is OK again. I am hungry and decide to try.
The menu declares nation famed chefs but sadly these two men, one grotesquely fat and the other painfully thin have gained more inflated egos than culinary skills. The battered fish chips and peas is of perfectly edible quality and well presented but fairly tasteless and the pleasure of sitting in a country inn is a!most complete untarnished by the radio station blaring out pop music and a DJs puffed up self importance and the frequent appearance of the obnoxious fat chef as he bullies his staff and struts around his clearly newly defined territory like a peacock. The skinny chef has already put in an appearance to boast that the crab cakes I have ordered are off because he hasn’t made them yet and might be on later in the day if he can be bothered.
Well, they won’t last long then. A diet of too many TV cookery shows will not stand chefs in good stead when they head out to try and shine in country villages where a more discerning taste may well expect the ambience to be if equal import to the quality of the food.
I spot a bed and breakfast, the Mill, across the way and think that might well be a better choice of overnight stay in these parts, though whether the pub will survive with its comic book chefs is another matter.
Onwards I walk. I find it hard to stay present. I am with my thoughts and dissatisfaction seems to be the order of the day. By mid afternoon I am needing respite from myself as much as anything, cross at any I care to think about.I resolve to sit in the pub in the next village and get cosy in an easy chair for an hour. I need to find a sense of kindness for myself. The pub is closed down in Little Birchs, fairly recently by the look of it. I sit acrossfrom its closed doors on the grassy verge pondering the map. I don’t have far to go now but do a go the long way round the village or head straight for kings thorn?
A man comes by, pauses, asks if I need assistance with directions. I say not but he turns again and asks if I k now the area. Then he tells me of Higgins well and the church. I take the long way round and visit the clearly ancient well and wonder how it got that name. The nearby church is St Marys. Its doors are open and I sit, finally taking solace. I cry tears of grief for my dead father. There hasn’t somehow been space for that in the three years since he left. I feel better and set out once more.
It doesn’t take !ong now and I am soon at my destination but I have no address and Looby isn’t home when I ring. I sit in the village pub and am well cared for by the young landlady who helpfully thinks of places I might stay if for some reason I cannot contact my host. I ask to plug in my phone and when I do a message comes in.Looby has my message and now I have the address.
She comes to the pub with her daughter to meet me and a minute later I am home for the night.
After supper it is bedtime stories with seven year old Teya who creates virtually the whole tale herself. Then hearing from 15 year old Shanti, a most well informed young lady. Looby is the author of People and Permaculture and another shorter more accessible guide written as an introduction to this most practical , effective and earth friendly method of gardening. Shanti wouldmake a fabulous publicist and I wish I had such easy access to such a smart young mind.
We pore over maps and I see where I will be staying in a couple of days, at Applewood permaculture site. Shanti is excited. They have been to a plant sale today and along with the blueberries that Looby had procured and rosemary and lavanda and bay, much as I would have chosen, the girls have bought flowers. Shanti plans to adorn her little caravan , where I will get to spend the night, with pots of the flowers she has chosen.
Looby shows me the day’s plants. She shows me too the perrenial kale. From only three plants there is full and lush bed of edible greens for the whole year. I learn about Japanese wine fruit, small tight blackberry fruits that is growing well in the back garden and experiments to propagate it.
We finish our evening learning if the horrors happening in Baltimore. Shanti keeps up with the news on the internet. It feels like a brood of unruly children have been allowed to take over, not just the state but the country and most of the world,bullying and intimidating anything other than their small world of beliefs. It is disempowering to learn if the scale of the things that are still so far out of balance.
Yet what more can we do but take the next step forward, and the next, towards the society we can be proud to be a part of? What is the next step towards racial acceptance for those who have been taught prejudice?
At bedtime Shanti gives a gift. She teaches me how to cut and paste my work into Facebook.

There are other projects afoot; a funder to pay for a really good translator tool so we can all

The map is clear, the land doubles back on itself and the lane is fairly straight forward

It is a simple act of kindness, a fitting way to end my day. I lay in the bath for an hour, simply sitting, simply being, no hurry to get anywhere at all. Today I have learnt that kindness begins with taking good care of yourself first. We can only offer others what we are capable of offering to ourselves.